Love or Life

Sometimes I ask myself the question “would I rather be alone then spend my life with someone I don’t love?” My answer is always filled with uncertainty because I don’t want to be alone but I don’t want to spend my life settling for less just because I am afraid of living this life without a companion. “So what do I want?” That answer is always simple. 1) Fall in love 2) Get married 3) Travel the world 4) Start a family 5) Raise your family. There it is…so simple right. I fear not. I fear that I will never find my TRUE love or get married or have a family. The funny thing about it is that getting married, traveling, having a family, raising your family is all the easy part. The hard part is finding that person that sweeps you off your feet and deals with your faults all at once. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing wrong. Aside from my life’s aspirations at the end of the day I just want to be with that person. Currently, I feel like I’ve found him. However, I don’t know if he feels the same way. I don’t want to rush anything or think he could be my husband. I would like to see some of his interest in something other than football, his family, and friends. I don’t think I have a place in his life and sometimes that bothers me. I do not have any rights to have a place, but I do feel that we have something special and it could be something more if he would give it a chance. So I guess the real question is “would I rather be alone then search for a new guy?” The answer would be “I am tired.”